Stupid Stanley


Oct 26, 2010
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat.
What to do? There was no male of this species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Stanley, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages.
Now Stanley, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright.
So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
Perhaps they could entice Stanley to satisfy the female gorilla.

So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla -- for five hundred bucks?
Stanley replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.

The following day, Stanley announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."

"Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."

The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, but what could be the third?

"Well," said Stanley, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."