Neither one of us has the time for me to explain why.
Actually, I do. PM me. I love discussions like this.
I'm not sure what you're saying here
That blaming the victim is wrong. Long experience in forum arguments; if I don't say it's wrong, people think I don't know it's wrong, and then they start accusing me of doing it.
when it motivates us all the way to our bank accounts and the silence in our threads for fear of contradicting the evidence offered, that's when the people charged with protecting the rest have to step in
Sometimes I don't care if it's true.
There are times that I see someone standing by the side of the road with a sign that says "homeless please help" and I have a twenty in my pocket and I happen to be thinking about that phase of my life and what self-righteous pricks people were. And what I want at that point is to prove to myself that I'm not a self-righteous prick, so I give the guy my twenty bucks.
And I honestly DON'T CARE if he's really homeless or really needs the money or really can't afford to buy food. It's completely irrelevant to the process. What I wanted was to lay aside my doubts and suspicions long enough to reach out and help someone, and I did that.
Which is why there are times when Bob says "you poor woman, I'll send you $50 through PayPal," and you jump up and say "No! She's lying! Here's proof!" - and Bob thinks YOU'RE the prick. You didn't really stop Bob from being suckered, you stopped Bob from proving to himself that he was a good enough person to reach out and help people who needed it.
People are complicated.