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- #21
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- Jan 28, 2010
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You're a good cousin for trying to help with this.
Is he really paying out for a hotel for nights on end with his GF just to get some nookie and avoid the mums house where he has a place to stay if he wants it?
Doesn't she have a place to stay they could hook up and then he could go home at night?
Sounds like it could be a neutral location binge retreat. Why else pay out for a room for nights on end? Hotels aren't cheap, and a lot more expensive than renting your own place. Has he been going to work when staying in the hotel?
If he's not doing opiates, is he drinking too much? If he's drinking at all are you sure he's not then doing more once he's drunk?
I don't know what the best course of action is, but his behaviour makes his claims of being clean sound questionable.
He probably needs to know that if he does open up and tell you that he still has a problem you're not going to judge him, shame him and think less of him, just that you care about him and want to help get him out of this situation, as long as he's willing to drop that **** and put in the work to get clean and make a new life.
Stay in touch with him frequently. Call or text him daily, check in on him. Send him funny or interesting crap you find on the net as friend as an excuse to send a message.
Invite him to dinner or other events to try and get him into new more positive social circles. Make him feel like someone actually gives a **** about him and that he has the chance to reintegrate to normal life instead of feeling like his only escape is to lock himself in a hotel with a woman for days on end.
He has a motorcycle - will he go riding or off roading with you to reignite any hobbies or passions he can focus and put his energy on outside of work hours?
If he is back on it, it sounds like he could do with getting out of town and away from any local bad influences. If you and his mum are his only support network that might be tough though.
Good luck man.
So he passed that test which cost 450$? If so, that is really good news. Again, encourage him and reward him maybe. I don't know. At least express how good he is doing by not falling back and that soon he will lead a normal life.he told me his step mom would call his work and have them piss test him and according to him thats what happened today
The best advice.The only advice I can give is to listen and try to direct them to organisations more qualified to help.