Is the internet getting boring?

Zelda

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And a manual approval process, to keep a check on who joins
And with that, I already have left and forgotten your site even exists. If I joined through Facebook, I came to post and have my post available now. The idea of waiting for someone to approve my account or approve my post means I am now taking more time than my interest will hold. By the time you happen to be online, I have long since left. The e-mail telling me that my post was approved, I may not even recall what it is talking about, assume it is spam, and flag it as such.

The biggest failing surrounding forums is getting between your users and using the site. Nothing kills productivity quicker.
 
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DigNap15

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And with that, I already have left and forgotten your site even exists. If I joined through Facebook, I came to post and have my post available now. The idea of waiting for someone to approve my account or approve my post means I am now taking more time than my interest will hold. By the time you happen to be online, I have long since left. The e-mail telling me that my post was approved, I may not even recall what it is talking about, assume it is spam, and flag it as such.

The biggest failing surrounding forums is getting between your users and using the site. Nothing kills productivity quicker.
What you say is very interesting.
But I have 1,300 members.
About 400 of whom registered (and were approved within a day) and have never been back to even look. I dont believe they are all nto posting becasue I did not approve their account within 5 minutes
Annother 300 of my members check in once or twice a month and lurk, but hardly ever post.
I don't think many of my members came from Facebook.
I would like to think that my forum appeals more than to the one post meme type poster

But which of us is right - who knows?
Opening my forum up to instant registration is just opening it up to all sorts of spamers and false membership numbers.
 

Pete

Flavours of Forums Forever
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And with that, I already have left and forgotten your site even exists. If I joined through Facebook, I came to post and have my post available now. The idea of waiting for someone to approve my account or approve my post means I am now taking more time than my interest will hold. By the time you happen to be online, I have long since left. The e-mail telling me that my post was approved, I may not even recall what it is talking about, assume it is spam, and flag it as such.

The biggest failing surrounding forums is getting between your users and using the site. Nothing kills productivity quicker.
This isn’t true for all niches. Though I will admit my niche is out there.

In my niche, multi stage approval is _normal_. I have members who haven’t posted in a month after joining because their application isn’t finished (and this is expected and normal). We keep in touch with them on Discord and hang out while finishing up the applications.
 

Zelda

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This isn’t true for all niches. Though I will admit my niche is out there.

In my niche, multi stage approval is _normal_. I have members who haven’t posted in a month after joining because their application isn’t finished (and this is expected and normal). We keep in touch with them on Discord and hang out while finishing up the applications.
I have to admit that is an interesting exception you have there. But during that process, you continue with live chat and regular engagement. Essentially, these people already feel like they are part of your community since Discord is an extension of your community, which works to your advantage.

But that's is the problem where most people lose out. People do not feel like they belong or are welcomed until their posts are accepted and appreciated. They want to have the liberty to jump on in and with nothing holding them back too. If I join a site and start posting, who's to say when (or if) someone will get around to approving my actions. That is a near-automatic turn-off.

I said it before. I almost did not come back here because I had to wait for the approval. I had actually deleted the e-mail out of gut reaction, and if Gmail didn't hold trash for longer than delete, I would have been none the wiser. My membership, the content I have added (for whatever it is worth), would never have transpired.

It is cool that your community has successfully incorporated a live chat server environment into your community. I would be interested in learning more, such as what you imagine is the content vs. chat ratio?
 

Pete

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First of all, it's not just my community, our entire niche does this to more or less degree. Now I'm not on mobile, let me give a more detailed outlook on it.

The roleplay niche is complicated, and it has some complex facets around 'fitting in', e.g. take my site, Harry Potter universe, set in 1969. You cannot just rock up, decide you want to be Harry Potter (who hasn't been born yet and won't be for another decade) and start posting as Harry.

As such many RP sites have some kind of application or character sheet process where the application is vetted before posting, to ensure that what the character is trying to do is consistent with the rest of the roleplay world. It ensures that characters who arrive won't be wildly inconsistent with the universe that exists, such as having a character with all-the-baggage tropes from day 1.

There are also different formats - some sites are rapid fire, posting a line or two as a post; others have requirements of hundreds of words per post or more, and there are typically some vague controls placed in the signup process to align people and expectations.

There are some formats and sites that don't have much, if any, of the signup/character sheet approach and tend to roll with whatever comes in. These tend towards being multifandom (aka panfandom) where universes blur and where by definition more like anything goes.

Now... content vs chat ratio. This one is tough.

There are RP communities who only exist in Discord. Even some of the RP resource sites that used to exist went Discord-only because if they're providing essentially a resource library, you don't... need... a community site where people by nature will dip in and out, and trying to build a community around that is hard when the only reasons people have to share the space boil down to cross promotion.

We're still young as an RP community, we've reached a few hundred posts since we kicked off earlier in the year, and we're OK with that level of progress. Yes, there is a stream of consciousness in the Discord throughout the day (but we only have the one channel in Discord purposely to limit the spreading), yes there is a widget on the forum homepage to show who is on Discord... but that's mostly around making sure that there is a space where people can come say hi easily and become part of the social fabric of the community. More importantly, it gives people a space to talk about their characters, throw around ideas for threads, plots and so on, which can then be written on the forum since for the kind of roleplay we do (typically 200+ words a post, though absolutely no hard requirements) this sucks on Discord. So Discord is for the occasional quickfire 'in character banter', some plotting, some throwing around ideas, and somewhere to hang that isn't on-topic all the time.

I would venture that the RP niche is one of the only niches where having a Discord (or, a chatbox/shoutbox of old) isn't... inherently... or fundamentally flawed because the nature of the content makes it quite asynchronous and you want something to fill in the gaps.
 

Nev_Dull

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Messages
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But that's is the problem where most people lose out. People do not feel like they belong or are welcomed until their posts are accepted and appreciated. They want to have the liberty to jump on in and with nothing holding them back too. If I join a site and start posting, who's to say when (or if) someone will get around to approving my actions. That is a near-automatic turn-off.
I'm not sure how this is a problem. If someone isn't willing to wait for the fairly simple registration process to complete, I seriously doubt they have the staying power to become involved in a long discussion. In my opinion, the forum registration steps form a good weeding out process. I'm not interested in making it easier for those with the attention span of a gnat to register.
 

Zelda

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I'm not sure how this is a problem. If someone isn't willing to wait for the fairly simple registration process to complete, I seriously doubt they have the staying power to become involved in a long discussion. In my opinion, the forum registration steps form a good weeding out process. I'm not interested in making it easier for those with the attention span of a gnat to register.
Respectfully, that narrow vision is precisely why many forums fail to succeed in the age of social media. People such as myself, and I'll include myself among them, are more than willing to have lengthy and mature conversations well beyond the scope of simple one-liners. I am sure you may presume myself to be among the minority, a simple edge case, where I am the exception and not the rule. But my own experience, looking beyond myself, proves that is not the case. What many forum administrators fail to appreciate or understand in our changing times is people want to be heard, and they want to be heard far and wide. Folks today are not lacking the will or desire to add content through conversations. The depths of society go well beyond the occasional meme or short puns. So I would argue, the content is there and for the taking. But where many forums fall short is they fail to live in the moment. People want to post, but they want to do it now. Not waiting for your approval or process, but now. The lack of now, the failure to live in the moment, is often a significant contributor to forums' death.
 
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Pete

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That said, I have long thought that the low barrier to entry in social media is actually part of the problem, along with its pace.

Social media is a medium that focuses on the 'now'. Everything is about reactions, about escalations, about living in the moment. With that comes an implication of 'living your best life' for everyone to react to. But living in the moment also implies a highly charged reactionary culture - where responses are often misspelled, often angrier than they need to be, because that ever implied fear of missing out, and fear of not being up with the drama encourage people to be there.

The social networks love this, of course, it all adds to the engagement, keeps people around, lets them see more ads etc. so they're always going to be all for it and build in this behaviour to keep people coming back.

I actually think a slower pace doesn't hurt anyone. I look at the topics I've just replied to over on my site... one of them was a whopping nine days between posts. NINE DAYS. Imagine that on Facebook, where it's literally reaction posts in some cases. It would be weird to be 9 days later.

This is not to say that forums shouldn't consider whether to reduce friction on their platforms or not - but it all ties back into the fact that forums are, by design, inherently meant to not be all about the reaction. They're designed to support much longer conversations than social media really encourages. I couldn't imagine this thread on Facebook; the UI would make it hard to read even on a desktop because everything's competing for space in ways it doesn't on forums (generally; it's certainly not a universal truth)

I think they're different tools for different kinds of interaction and we should use them as such.
 

Zelda

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That said, I have long thought that the low barrier to entry in social media is actually part of the problem, along with its pace.

Social media is a medium that focuses on the 'now'. Everything is about reactions, about escalations, about living in the moment. With that comes an implication of 'living your best life' for everyone to react to. But living in the moment also implies a highly charged reactionary culture - where responses are often misspelled, often angrier than they need to be, because that ever implied fear of missing out, and fear of not being up with the drama encourage people to be there.

The social networks love this, of course, it all adds to the engagement, keeps people around, lets them see more ads etc. so they're always going to be all for it and build in this behaviour to keep people coming back.

I actually think a slower pace doesn't hurt anyone. I look at the topics I've just replied to over on my site... one of them was a whopping nine days between posts. NINE DAYS. Imagine that on Facebook, where it's literally reaction posts in some cases. It would be weird to be 9 days later.

This is not to say that forums shouldn't consider whether to reduce friction on their platforms or not - but it all ties back into the fact that forums are, by design, inherently meant to not be all about the reaction. They're designed to support much longer conversations than social media really encourages. I couldn't imagine this thread on Facebook; the UI would make it hard to read even on a desktop because everything's competing for space in ways it doesn't on forums (generally; it's certainly not a universal truth)

I think they're different tools for different kinds of interaction and we should use them as such.
9 days?! If I did not know your niche, which I do (story role-playing), I would presume your site was new or only known to a few close friends (a very tight community). Myself, I would be experiencing complete panic if my activity was lacking throughout a day, much less nine. But I guess that is a big difference, your niche, and what you aim for your community.

My members do not refer to my site as a forum. I have not heard the term used in describing my site in a while, but instead, I am the social media site. I embraced the concept entirely as opposed to fighting it. Sometimes, yes, the content is not extensive when you have a group that loves to post one-liner puns and memes. But a fair amount of our content is quite extensive, and my mediocre posts are a small drop in comparison. But it got that way because I chose to embrace everything and be inclusive as opposed to exclusive. Initially, that lead to a lot of activity with entertaining content but lacking depth. But once it reached exponential growth, the content became more enriched and extensive.

But I digress. I guess you put out a very valid point. It depends on what your goals are and how do you envision your community.
 

Nev_Dull

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But where many forums fall short is they fail to live in the moment. People want to post, but they want to do it now. Not waiting for your approval or process, but now. The lack of now, the failure to live in the moment, is often a significant contributor to forums' death.
I understand your argument, and in part, I agree with it. I've spent most of my working life as a user advocate and promoting better usability in everything. On the surface, what you're saying is inline with this: Remove barriers and make it faster and easier for people to get their posts on the forum.

Sometimes, however, barriers are there for a purpose. Removing all the traffic lights and signs from a city doesn't make commuting easier, just more confusing and dangerous. While hardly on the same level, the forum registration process does serve a purpose. Besides helping to weed out a few of the bots and spammers, it ensures a small level of commitment on the part of the registrant. It also slows a new member down, preventing them from posting in anger over something. And of course there are lots of ways the registration process helps forum admins.

I'm not talking here about making registration more difficult. Just filling out the form, perhaps answering an anti-bot question, and then clicking the automated response to verify your email and ensure you intended to join. I don't believe in putting new members into a moderation queue or limiting access to certain areas. Those are not useful barriers.

Keep in mind, too, this is a one-time process. Most forums allow you to remain logged in between sessions, which is a great way to remove unnecessary steps. This isn't a "narrow vision" of online communities. When done correctly, it serves a useful purpose.
 

truthingtotruth

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This discussion shows very clearly the generation thingy.

I suspect there are some younger folks that want life to be super fast and so there are things on the Net that suit them very nicely, as was noted above by a member here when it was stated that waiting for approval to join a community on the Net was too much of a wait.

That sort of post and thinking is helpful to older folks like myself that still remember the simple black telephone sitting next to the black-and-white output of the television.

But then I have to ask those younger folks what they think they were doing for nine months while they were cared for by their mama? I mean, that sure does seem like a long time for them, no?

And you are right if you think I am sort of thinking that wanting to go too fast is not such a good idea. How can you truly get a handle on the thoughts from another human if you do not take the time to understand that human? I mean, does that high speed response you post on that high speed communications network allow you the time to truly understand that other human?
 

Icedout372

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All went down hill after no-follow was introduced! Google acts like they're for the small independent companies, but every action they seem to take just makes things worse with corporations like them controlling the internet! It's too bad because Thomas Jefferson almost introduced something that would of made for a different future we're in now. One day, these corporations will need to be broken up

"Tech Companies Could Soon Have Their Own Cities to Run"

 

Zelda

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Messages
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This discussion shows very clearly the generation thingy.

I suspect there are some younger folks that want life to be super fast and so there are things on the Net that suit them very nicely, as was noted above by a member here when it was stated that waiting for approval to join a community on the Net was too much of a wait.

That sort of post and thinking is helpful to older folks like myself that still remember the simple black telephone sitting next to the black-and-white output of the television.

But then I have to ask those younger folks what they think they were doing for nine months while they were cared for by their mama? I mean, that sure does seem like a long time for them, no?

And you are right if you think I am sort of thinking that wanting to go too fast is not such a good idea. How can you truly get a handle on the thoughts from another human if you do not take the time to understand that human? I mean, does that high speed response you post on that high speed communications network allow you the time to truly understand that other human?
I do not know how to reply to this without possibly coming off as arrogant, and if I do, please believe me that is not my intention. I am in no way trying to say anything negative about previous generations and am only trying to share my understanding and experience.

Yes, I can reply and interact with multiple people in real-time and get to know someone over time. The speed of the conversation does not determine how well I get to know someone. I can process multiple conversations simultaneously with multiple people without skipping a beat or losing the depth of the conversation, and the meaning behind everything be said. Strangely enough, I can recall chats I have had with people on the internet for extended periods (months, years).

I do not preserve myself as that young or that old either. I recently turned 40 a month or so ago. But I also grew up with technology at a very young age. I had internet access when most people were still playing with cassette tapes and VHS (which I also recall). For me, the "Internet" started on an old dark blue screen with light white text filled with command prompts and without any pictures or videos, or audio as we have today. I still remember the first ASCII (Art) and thinking how impressive that was.

Thanks to a family member who worked online (ARPANET), I first became a "jr" system administrator running community software known as 'Post,' a flat forum developed in 1985. I got to first use Post in 1986 (I was 5 years old), as they had set it up for all the neighborhood kids to use and learn. Most of the kids, as you can expect, lost interest within a week. I was not one of them. Community forums were called post boards back then, which later were called bulletin boards, and now they are called forums. Of course, flat forums are mostly a thing of the past, and today it is more common to see and use a thread forum. Back then, "forums" (if you call them that) were navigated using your keyboard. Since then, I have always had some form of computer and internet connection and have never been without one.

Because I grew up with technology around me early, I grew accustomed to being connected to people digitally and interacting with people online. I experienced that early mindset that you needed to be quick to absorb and respond, which plays heavily in today's social media. Honestly, at this stage, I find that I absorb and interact with people a little better than those who are younger than myself, but I will admit that I am perhaps the exception and not the rule. I also suspect someday, technology will change, and I, too, will be struggling to catch up, but that day is not today.

I have learned that younger folks have experienced technology since a young age, much like myself, and have grown up with this mindset. It is our shared commonality. Something some of my peers also experienced this but not all of them. Those people who have not experienced such an upbringing are slower to adapt, absorb, and retain everything they interact with. I have a "skill" (?) where I can monitor a live-chat room with dozens of posts per second, and while I would not call myself a speed reader, I will still be able to follow at least part of it. So a forum or a lengthy interwoven thread on Facebook is not a problem for someone such as myself.

What is a problem, and what I'm unsure if I am explaining well enough is "lag?" I find it harder to follow someone when they fail to reply soon, and I become a little more detached from getting to know them if they mull over things for too long. It forces me to stop, think, and try to recall everything all over again because of the speed (?) of which it took seems 'clocked down,' and I have to replay 'it' in my head to catch up (speed it up into context). It is a break away from how I and others like myself process things.

You will please forgive me if I am doing a poor job trying to explain the mindset. But again, without trying to sound arrogant or condescending, what I am trying to get at is, I often hear we (those of us who use social media) are seeking instant gratification. I cannot completely dismiss that, but it is much more than that. It is that we have a hard time interacting as slow as some of you do. We think faster, absorb faster, understand faster, and comprehend in-depth faster, and I would argue sometimes more efficiently. So when I stumble upon a forum that moves at a snail pace and places obstacles in my way, it sets me back. It is comparable to using fiber internet and being told today you're using 14k. You're not exactly happy with it, and you're already asking yourself, what's the point.

This "lengthy" reply was typed in under a minute. I can post dozens of these types of replies, assuming the site does not have an anti-flood enabled. But I am sure the administration would likely tell me to chill-ax, and I would jump right into Twitter, Reddit, Messenger, Text, and before the minute was up, I would have interacted with no less than 9 different people. I am not trying to brag or boast. Please do not misunderstand.

The point I am getting at (I hope) is the people who will follow after me, who are younger, and who too grew up with all this, are not slowing down. The next generation will eventually do leaps and bounds greater than myself. It hasn't happened yet, but I have no doubt it will happen. When that does, your roadblocks and limitations will be less "tolerated" than they are already.

I do not know if what I am trying to explain is clear enough. It isn't for the lack of trying. All I can say while begging your forgiveness is your way is becoming absolute. And as someone who does feel some nostalgia toward forums and still enjoys using them, I wish you all to be successful, and once more, I know you can be.
 
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DigNap15

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Joined
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Messages
589
I do not know how to reply to this without possibly coming off as arrogant, and if I do, please believe me that is not my intention. I am in no way trying to say anything negative about previous generations and am only trying to share my understanding and experience.

Yes, I can reply and interact with multiple people in real-time and get to know someone over time. The speed of the conversation does not determine how well I get to know someone. I can process multiple conversations simultaneously with multiple people without skipping a beat or losing the depth of the conversation, and the meaning behind everything be said. Strangely enough, I can recall chats I have had with people on the internet for extended periods (months, years).

I do not preserve myself as that young or that old either. I recently turned 40 a month or so ago. But I also grew up with technology at a very young age. I had internet access when most people were still playing with cassette tapes and VHS (which I also recall). For me, the "Internet" started on an old dark blue screen with light white text filled with command prompts and without any pictures or videos, or audio as we have today. I still remember the first ASCII (Art) and thinking how impressive that was.

Thanks to a family member who worked online (ARPANET), I first became a "jr" system administrator running community software known as 'Post,' a flat forum developed in 1985. I got to first use Post in 1986 (I was 5 years old), as they had set it up for all the neighborhood kids to use and learn. Most of the kids, as you can expect, lost interest within a week. I was not one of them. Community forums were called post boards back then, which later were called bulletin boards, and now they are called forums. Of course, flat forums are mostly a thing of the past, and today it is more common to see and use a thread forum. Back then, "forums" (if you call them that) were navigated using your keyboard. Since then, I have always had some form of computer and internet connection and have never been without one.

Because I grew up with technology around me early, I grew accustomed to being connected to people digitally and interacting with people online. I experienced that early mindset that you needed to be quick to absorb and respond, which plays heavily in today's social media. Honestly, at this stage, I find that I absorb and interact with people a little better than those who are younger than myself, but I will admit that I am perhaps the exception and not the rule. I also suspect someday, technology will change, and I, too, will be struggling to catch up, but that day is not today.

I have learned that younger folks have experienced technology since a young age, much like myself, and have grown up with this mindset. It is our shared commonality. Something some of my peers also experienced this but not all of them. Those people who have not experienced such an upbringing are slower to adapt, absorb, and retain everything they interact with. I have a "skill" (?) where I can monitor a live-chat room with dozens of posts per second, and while I would not call myself a speed reader, I will still be able to follow at least part of it. So a forum or a lengthy interwoven thread on Facebook is not a problem for someone such as myself.

What is a problem, and what I'm unsure if I am explaining well enough is "lag?" I find it harder to follow someone when they fail to reply soon, and I become a little more detached from getting to know them if they mull over things for too long. It forces me to stop, think, and try to recall everything all over again because of the speed (?) of which it took seems 'clocked down,' and I have to replay 'it' in my head to catch up (speed it up into context). It is a break away from how I and others like myself process things.

You will please forgive me if I am doing a poor job trying to explain the mindset. But again, without trying to sound arrogant or condescending, what I am trying to get at is, I often hear we (those of us who use social media) are seeking instant gratification. I cannot completely dismiss that, but it is much more than that. It is that we have a hard time interacting as slow as some of you do. We think faster, absorb faster, understand faster, and comprehend in-depth faster, and I would argue sometimes more efficiently. So when I stumble upon a forum that moves at a snail pace and places obstacles in my way, it sets me back. It is comparable to using fiber internet and being told today you're using 14k. You're not exactly happy with it, and you're already asking yourself, what's the point.

This "lengthy" reply was typed in under a minute. I can post dozens of these types of replies, assuming the site does not have an anti-flood enabled. But I am sure the administration would likely tell me to chill-ax, and I would jump right into Twitter, Reddit, Messenger, Text, and before the minute was up, I would have interacted with no less than 9 different people. I am not trying to brag or boast. Please do not misunderstand.

The point I am getting at (I hope) is the people who will follow after me, who are younger, and who too grew up with all this, are not slowing down. The next generation will eventually do leaps and bounds greater than myself. It hasn't happened yet, but I have no doubt it will happen. When that does, your roadblocks and limitations will be less "tolerated" than they are already.

I do not know if what I am trying to explain is clear enough. It isn't for the lack of trying. All I can say while begging your forgiveness is your way is becoming absolute. And as someone who does feel some nostalgia toward forums and still enjoys using them, I wish you all to be successful, and once more, I know you can be.
We all know that the problem is that younger ones (say under 40) do not know what a forum as.
They have gown up on Youtube, Facebook etc.
So just repeating yourself and advocating instant registration as the panacea is a bit tedious
 

Zelda

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Help, I’m under 40 and I don’t know what a forum is!
Thank you, I really did need a good laugh. 😅
We all know that the problem is that younger ones (say under 40) do not know what a forum as.
People do know what forums are. But knowing what they are and hearing the word 'forum' often results in most folks today rolling their eyes. It is a mindset that forums must overcome. Software, cannot usually change society's perceptions, but it can change itself to fit the needs and wants of society.
repeating yourself and advocating instant registration as the panacea is a bit tedious
I think you are quite right.
 

Pete

Flavours of Forums Forever
Joined
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Messages
2,250
I think there is a disconnect though; people have become accustomed to typing a few words in and having everything they want served up on a plate for them to just scroll through - see FB Groups for an example.

As a society we have become accustomed to “someone else putting in the work so we don’t have to”. This includes content creation for sure.
 

Nev_Dull

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Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,291
You will please forgive me if I am doing a poor job trying to explain the mindset. But again, without trying to sound arrogant or condescending, what I am trying to get at is, I often hear we (those of us who use social media) are seeking instant gratification. I cannot completely dismiss that, but it is much more than that. It is that we have a hard time interacting as slow as some of you do. We think faster, absorb faster, understand faster, and comprehend in-depth faster, and I would argue sometimes more efficiently. So when I stumble upon a forum that moves at a snail pace and places obstacles in my way, it sets me back. It is comparable to using fiber internet and being told today you're using 14k. You're not exactly happy with it, and you're already asking yourself, what's the point.
I appreciate that you aren't trying to sound arrogant, so please accept that what I'm saying is likewise not intended to offend.

I can tell your post took a very short time, as it was far more rambling and repetitive than it could have been had you taken the time to collect and organize your thoughts. There's a lot of unnecessary verbiage and some parts of your response don't really say anything. Your post may have been quick for you to type, but it forces more effort on the reader to work out what you're trying to say. Whatever your intention, that's just bad communication. Best practice in communication is to take whatever time is necessary to make your message as clear and unambiguous as possible.

Your post also perpetuates a common misconception that has become prevalent among many who "grew up" with computers and the internet. No matter how many times it's stated or by how many people, your brain doesn't process information any faster or any better than the rest of us.

We all deal with things one at a time. That doesn't mean we can't keep track of many different things, we just queue them up for processing. I'm an old guy, but in my working life, I routinely handled 15-20 projects concurrently, as did everyone around me. However, I only ever worked on one at a time. When you say "I can process multiple conversations simultaneously with multiple people without skipping a beat or losing the depth of the conversation, and the meaning behind everything be said." what you are really saying is that you can keep track of multiple things and switch tasks quickly, which is a common feature of human cognition. The difference between people is
  • how many things you choose to keep track of, and
  • how much time or effort you put into each one at any time
This brings us back to the "slow pace" of forums.
I find it harder to follow someone when they fail to reply soon, and I become a little more detached from getting to know them if they mull over things for too long. It forces me to stop, think, and try to recall everything all over again because of the speed (?) of which it took seems 'clocked down,' and I have to replay 'it' in my head to catch up (speed it up into context). It is a break away from how I and others like myself process things.
What you are describing here is a lack of patience, another common human failing. It is easy to quickly deal with a large number of small conversations as they happen, clearing the way to take in more things. It takes more cognitive energy to deal with a discussion that occurs over time and reduces the number of other things you can process. Not everyone likes that, just as some people prefer to read short stories that can be finished in a sitting, rather than novels that can take weeks or more to read.

This "lengthy" reply was typed in under a minute. I can post dozens of these types of replies, assuming the site does not have an anti-flood enabled. But I am sure the administration would likely tell me to chill-ax, and I would jump right into Twitter, Reddit, Messenger, Text, and before the minute was up, I would have interacted with no less than 9 different people. I am not trying to brag or boast. Please do not misunderstand.
I haven't misunderstood. And please, don't confuse quantity with quality. You can jump onto various platforms and interact with many people in a short period of time, as any of us can. That doesn't mean you are communicating effectively or clearly. In the end, clear communication is what everyone is after.
 

truthingtotruth

Aspirant
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
151
Well, I have to first thank folks for sort of focusing on my post as they did because this is a learning process for me, no matter what your age. I have folks called my children that are now in their mid-thirties and I am learning from them, too. This human-to-human thing is tough work. All input helps.

But I think I have learned one thing over my few years on this planet; I can't seem to understand folks so easily and this Internet stuff in communicating doesn't make that process of understanding any faster, easier, better. In fact, if I can't see their face I am probably having more trouble understanding them. (I guess that pronoun "them" means all humans, including myself. [I am not so sure I understand me.])

This understanding another human stuff is tough, tough stuff!

By the way, this discussion is far, far from boring - - - and that is one answer to the topic's question. One of an infinite number of possible answers.
 
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